5 Behaviors and Practices Managers Need to Leave in the Past
I have been working as an arts administrator for the past 19 years. I started out answering phones as a receptionist for a Broadway producer and a high-profile EGOT-winning director. During grad school, I interned at nonprofits and trade associations. I’ve been a middle manager. I’ve worked at arts nonprofits in every tier: entry level, middle management, and, for the past decade, as an executive leader and entrepreneur.
Between all of this, I’ve seen it all when it comes to management styles. I’ve worked under abusive leaders, ineffective ones, and a handful of genuinely inspirational leaders. And through it all, I’ve learned what works, what doesn’t, and, most importantly, what we cannot bring with us into the future if we want to build an effective, equitable, and sustainable team.
While the list is long, I’ve narrowed it down to 5 behaviors and practices that absolutely need to stay in the past.
Being the Bottleneck
Middle management can often feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Managers are expected to execute without having the power to make decisions that directly impact that work. This is standard in management roles. For me, what made it even harder was working under leaders who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) make timely decisions.
Being the bottleneck shows up as unanswered emails, ignoring Slack messages, missing meetings, or going silent on deliverables.
Leaders, let me be clear: when progress slows, more often than not, your team is waiting for you to move the work forward. Back when I was in middle management, I spent so much of my time chasing down leadership to get answers that I barely had time to do the job I was hired to do. It created stress, confusion, and burnout for the entire team.
Try this instead:
Start each morning with a 30-minute stand-up meeting with your team to find out what’s happening that day. Ask your team, “Am I holding anything up? What do you need from me to keep things moving?” These questions can radically shift morale, trust, and productivity.
Ghosting Partners and Stakeholders
This has become an unfortunate norm in the nonprofit sector. We’ve all had to send those dreaded “Just following up on the below email…” messages, often for weeks at a time.
I get it. We’re all drowning in emails. But while being a bottleneck (see above) hurts your internal workflow, failing to respond to external partners hurts your reputation.
When you don’t respond to board members, funders, consultants, or community partners, you are sending a loud message:
You don’t value their time.
You lack professional courtesy.
Your organization is disorganized or unreliable.
Remember: You are the face of your mission. If a funder or partner must chase you down for a simple reply, they begin to wonder if your organization handles its programs and finances with the same lack of attention. Silence can be a credibility killer.
Try this instead:
Treat your inbox like a relationship management tool. Block off one hour each day specifically for emails. Even a quick “Got it! I’ll circle back on Friday” (and then ACTUALLY circling back on Friday) protects the relationship and buys you time. Do not let the bridge burn simply because you didn’t type a sentence.
Leading Through Abuse or Intimidation
I’m a quintessential Millennial. Born in 1985, I was raised and educated by Boomers who often led using the tactics of fear, silence, and hierarchy. There was no room for feelings, no space for questions, and certainly no care-centered leadership.
We know better now. So why are so many of us replicating the very systems that traumatized us?
This toxic legacy shows up in subtle but damaging ways: public criticism disguised as “accountability,” the silent treatment when displeased, hoarding information to maintain power, or contacting staff at all hours to prove who’s in charge (see below).
I’ve seen firsthand how the way we treat middle management trickles down to entry-level staff. One of the worst examples involves my own mother’s death. My boss called me the day after her funeral to ask when I was returning. When I hesitated, she said, “I don’t understand. What else do you have to do there? Her funeral was yesterday.” I was 22, grieving, and shocked.
I later found out that her boss had treated her the exact same way when her brother died. She wasn’t being malicious; she was just repeating the only leadership model she had ever known.
And I am guilty of it, too. When I was a middle manager, a direct report asked me for a raise. Because I hadn’t received a raise in years, I was stuck in a scarcity mindset. I couldn’t fathom fighting for her when no one had fought for me. When I submitted her request, my boss approved it immediately. I realized then that I had almost punished my employee simply because I was suffering.
Few leaders wake up in the morning deciding to be abusive. But often, a lack of self-awareness manifests as control. If you find yourself snapping when questioned, hoarding decision-making power, or noticing that your team goes silent when you enter a room, you may be unintentionally leading through intimidation.
Try this instead:
Take time to reflect on the leadership models you grew up with. Journal about who made you feel small versus those who made you feel seen. Identify one behavior you promised yourself you would never repeat.
Don’t rely on “this is how it’s always been done.” Read books about different leadership models or hire an executive coach to help you unlearn toxic habits.
The Butts in Seats Mentality
When I say, “butts in seats”, I’m not talking about audience attendance. I’m talking about the outdated idea that if someone isn’t physically in the office, they aren’t working.
The pandemic showed us that working from home doesn’t mean a drop in productivity; it means a shift in trust. For caregivers, disabled staff, and people who simply work better from home, remote and hybrid models can be life-changing.
Let go of control and embrace trust. If your team is hitting their goals, it doesn’t matter if they’re doing it from their couch, a co-working space, or their kid’s soccer game.
But this brings up a valid concern: What if they aren’t hitting their goals?
While it’s tempting to blame the couch, the data suggests that the location of the work isn’t the problem. According to Owl Labs 2024 State of Hybrid Work report, 83% of employees are equally or more productive when working remotely. If your team is missing their targets, requesting them to come back into the office isn’t the solution. It just allows you to watch them struggle in person.
Missed goals are usually the result of unclear expectations, not laziness. If you can’t trust your team without hovering, the problem isn’t where they sit, but that your expectations are unclear.
Try this instead:
Stop measuring hours logged and start measuring milestones met. Clear goals are the antidote to micromanagement. If the grant is submitted, the budget is balanced, and the program is thriving, does it really matter if they did it while wearing sweatpants?
*Side Note* I often hear leaders ask, “Is it fair to let some staff work from home when other roles are required to be on-site?” It’s a valid question, but the answer isn’t to force everyone into the office out of solidarity. That is performative fairness, and it breeds resentment. Forcing your development director to sit in a cubicle doesn’t make your facilities manager’s job any easier.
Equity doesn’t mean treating every role the same. It means offering the maximum flexibility possible for each role. You can balance the scales in several ways.
For remote-capable roles, focus on outcome-based management and location autonomy.
For location-dependent roles, offer temporal flexibility like a 4-day work week or flexible shift start and end times to help them manage childcare.
Urgency Addiction
Every single thing is not a five-alarm fire. I repeat everything is not urgent.
Urgency addiction shows up when you’re sending emails at 11pm or dropping last-minute tasks on someone’s plate without warning.
I understand that with performances and fundraising events, working nights and weekends is often part of the gig. However, there is a massive difference between production necessity (the show is literally on stage right now) and administrative intrusion (asking about a spreadsheet at 9am on a Saturday).
When you blur those lines, you teach your team that boundaries don’t matter and that they must always be “on”. This leads to decision fatigue and burnout.
Try this instead:
Before you hit send on evenings or weekends, check the recipient’s role. If they are running the box office, a Saturday Slack message is appropriate. If they are in finance and off the clock, schedule that message to be sent on Monday morning.
Urgency shouldn’t be a feeling; it needs to be defined. Sit down with your team and decide how and when you communicate. For example:
Emails are non-urgent, and responses are expected within 24-48 hours.
Slack/Teams messages are for quick questions, and responses are expected within business hours.
Text/phone calls are for true emergencies (The building is on fire! A major donor just walked in!)
Agreeing on the ways you communicate will remove the anxiety of the “ping”. Your team will know that if their phone isn’t ringing, the work can wait.
If you want to build healthier workplaces, we have to unlearn the behaviors that broke us in the first place. The future of leadership is about trust, transparency, and care, not control.
So tell me, what behaviors do you think we need to leave behind in 2025?
Let’s keep each other accountable. The next generation of leaders are watching.
